Roadblock number 1.
It had been almost 2 years since our last visit to the Gynae, and we were at a loss of what to do next. Getting our hopes up every month, only to be disappointed and puzzled again and again…we finally set aside the time for further checks.
1 Peter 2:9
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
His response was not what we were expecting, as he immediately recommended me to go for an operation to get my fallopian tubes checked. I was taken aback at the suggestion, and asked about alternatives, to which he didn’t share much. It was either a) operation, or b) wait and do nothing.
After quite a long while, I mustered enough courage to ask him what I thought was a rather silly question – I asked, “What if after the operation, you discover there’s nothing wrong with my tubes?”
The next sentence that came out of his mouth was my game-changer. He said matter-of-factly, “Well, then we’ll just sew you back up.”
I decided to look for another Gynae the very next day.
Roadblock number 2.
By the grace of God, I found a very skilled Gynae who specialised in infertility treatments. There were so many raving reviews online, and it made me realise that I should have read up on my previous Gynae before committing to seeing him. Well, lesson learnt. 🙂
This new Gynae instructed us to get tested for a number of things, and the checks went smoothly. I felt hopeful again, and had a good feeling about this Gynae.
Then came the day of the results.
My right tube was blocked. 🙁 And he recommended us to seek IVF treatment as soon as possible, as it would give us the highest chance of success, though it would be the most invasive too.
I was so shocked and suddenly felt drained by all the obstacles. I didn’t want to give up, but it was getting tiring. I did not feel like God’s chosen people. I did not feel like any royalty. I did not feel capable of declaring His praises right at that moment.
I honestly felt like I needed a break from life itself.
1 Peter 2:9 was getting just too tough to hold onto.
I walked out of the room in silence, heart and mind heavy with a jumble of thoughts just battling for attention.
Bren just quietly followed from behind.